(Im)Personal Experience..

(Im)personal experience…
Experiences define us … when we put them in words, sentences, and coherent phrases, of course. I build a story that becomes part of the history of the self (the autobiographical self). Don’t you want an elaborate story with a wealth of meanings? Yeah, :)… it’s like I’m hearing you. Well, then, the expression is first. What we have experienced, let’s say on a recent vacation, is part of my history and defines me by assuming assumption. Start with the first person: “I have lived …”, “I believe …”, “I think …”, “I dream or dreamed …”, “I learned from that …”. Experiences, perceptions, emotions, and desires are about our own person. They don’t belong to another, to a fictitious “You.” Don’t talk about your experiences as if you were not there! They are yours. Please accept them. That’s how acceptance begins.

The Coolidge Effect!

Calvin Coolidge was the 30th President of the US. In biology and psychology, a phenomenon that occurs in mammalian species and humans – animals among other animals, not celestial beings than likely in sleeping stories for children, – was named at the inspiration of a student The Coolidge Effect!
The story of this phenomenon could be related to a visit by the president and the first lady to an experimental farm.
The President and Mrs. Coolidge were shown (separately) around an experimental government farm. When [Mrs. Coolidge] came to the chicken yard she noticed that a rooster was mating very often. She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, “Dozens of times every day.” Mrs. Coolidge said, “Tell that to the President when he comes by.” Upon being told, the President asked, “Same hen every time?” The answer was, “Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time.” President: “Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge.”
When males (and to a lesser extent females) come in contact with new sexually receptive females, they show (spontaneously) sexual interest in them. Maybe you did not understand. It means that somewhere on the lower levels of the libido system, there is an excitation.
Yes, indeed, this has something to do with you too! Especially if you are a male. I know, you can pretend that you do not know, that you are not interested, that you have not noticed, that she (he) is in another movie….:)
What you do next, when it comes to the situation, depends to some extent on you, but also on the context, and other hidden variables. It probably depends a bit on the erotic borders negotiated with your partner? Oh, but what I dare to suggest ?!;)
It’s not the case to make a philosophy of sex on account of this (that’s not the point!). Just sometimes you can account for it, without judging your partner for sexual interest, manifested sometimes (or often🙊🙈🙉 ),depends on opportunities, in other directions.
I know, I know,… depends on the measure of manifestation, or how far it comes to it, … with the manifestation, of course, (what are you thinking?). But it also has to do with your tolerance,… and to a small or larger extent, with the boundaries of the relationship, agreed upon.
But you do not have to believe me. …no! You can still do what you already know to do. To blame your partner for his own nature, which is about the same thing as upsetting you in the cloudy weather because it broke your vacation ))))

THE ELEPHANT AND THE HUMMINGBIRD


One day an elephant saw a hummingbird lying on its back with its tiny feet up in the air.
“What are you doing?” asked the elephant.
The hummingbird replied, “I heard that the sky might fall today, and so I am ready to help hold it up, should it fall.”
The elephant laughed cruelly. “Do you really think,” he said, “that those tiny feet could help hold up the sky?”
The hummingbird kept his feet up in the air, intent on his purpose as he replied, “Not alone. But each must do what he can. And this is what I can do.”~ Chinese Parable
Life means living. It’s not a thing, it’s a process.
There is no other way of reaching life than living, being alive, following the course, flowing with it.
If you try to find the meaning of life in a dogma, a philosophy, a theology, it is the perfect way to miss the encounter with life and its meaning.
Life is not waiting anywhere, your life is happening to you. It is not in the future as a goal to touch, but is here and now, at this very moment – in your respiration, in the circulation of blood, in the beating of your heart.
It is a sin only when you do not enjoy life!

Follow your dreams!

Follow your dreams!
It seems to me romantic, the urge in the title. Unfortunately, it has become a kind of mantra, so widespread through the market of self-help and personal development, especially when the mantra is complemented by the utopia that: “the world will go aside, if you know where you are going” or that: “The universe is your accomplice,” or “the universe conspires to what you really want.” It happens frequently that the world (or some people), it against you and the obstacles, abound in a complex social world such as the one we live it.
To be clear to us, the dream is what it does, … who? Yes, the dreamer…
And the dream is like antonym, … at what? Yes to reality, to waking, since the dream happens in sleep or reverie.
If you are awake, it means you do not dream, or that what you dream (that is, images and words) are regarded as what they are and not as instructions/rules for what to do! It’s a colossal difference!
A life of meaning (s) does not have much to do with the dream, and it is the hell of a difficult one because it employs us fully. We are fully responsible, (minus only, the circumstances of life, or the” Lucky Strike” factor.:)) If I were to follow my dreams, literally, I would get tied in the straitjacket. 🙂 I refuse to remember what I dream of overnight or in an after-dinner reverie. You would not want to know… I have serious reasons to stay calm and make sure dreams are dreams, not prescriptions or instructions for my actions (or even worse, to sell them to others).
What I wish for you too, although,… depends entirely on you!

About love, but not about love that produces blindness to poultry…

What do you mean ?

I think it’s not an exaggeration when I say that each of us has not learned what love is, participating in personal development courses, philosophy, or reading about it. Taking me as an example, I swear :), that no book or philosophical work has been of any use to me and has not increased my understanding of the paradisal phenomenon, or of the emotion that can get you encompassed when you hear of love.
I’m sure I’m lucky, 🙂 I didn’t waste my time with the futility of reading about love, but learning (again with some luck) 🙂 from experience with loving people, (in love with “blooming”) what love is.
But not about my experiences, which (seriously and entirely I have dedicated myself to the bone marrow) I want to talk, merely about the boundaries of love.
The question that it’s often asked is: Does love have limits?
Yes, it…

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About Expectations and Labels, or “The Pygmalion Effect” …

What do you mean ?

A sophisticated name for one of the most common mistakes in today’s society. The “Pygmalion Effect” implies the phenomenon that the higher our expectations of a person, the better his /her performance will get. It is based on a test (Rosenthal & Jakobson 1968), a powerful type of self-fulfilled prophecy, in a classic experiment about teachers´ expectations, a simple experiment in which students received a standard intelligence test. At the end of the test, the teachers received a list of five students who were supposed to have obtained unusually high IQ scores, and that were expected to become “class sprinters”.In reality, however, the five children were randomly chosen.By the end of the year, all children won in IQ, but the five “elected” won much more than the other students. Obviously, the teachers treated them differently, after they were told, to expect a sudden improvement in performances of the five elected…

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The “Gordian Knot”

The “Gordian Knot” or “Gordius’s knot” is “the symbol of a confusion for which conventional means are insufficient.” (DEX)”
Gordius, the Frigian plowman, was named king in his country. As a gratitude, he worshiped the “carriage” with which he had arrived in the Great Phrygia, to the god Jupiter, and exposed it to the Acropolis of Gordium. He binds the yoke to the drawbar, after that he makes an “unopened knot”, waiting to see if prophecy will be accomplished: That man who will succeed in undoing the knot will conquer Asia.
Alexander the Great, arrives in Phrygia and wants to untie the knot. He quickly realizes he will not be able to untie it, except by cutting with his sword. He will motivate his choice:
“It does not matter how this knot unfolds!”
Alexander’s solution to the problem led to the saying, “cutting the Gordian knot,” which means solving a complicated problem through bold action.
So if there is a Gordian Knot in your life, and conventional methods no longer help, you’re stuck in a situation, you have just one solution: Cut it!… and then carry on…, life is too short and there are no guarantees!

Where to hide these days?

Where to hide these days? In what recession of memory? It is certainly a comfortable one, in which nothing has changed. But by now it is already the memory of a memory and so far the road is a twisted clew of synapses. Childhood is the safest destination, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to get there.

“Even the smallest flower has its roots in infinity.” It’s a phrase from a book I recently just opened (Das Sanduhrbuch by Ernst Jünger). If I remember correctly, so said Borges, that you can read the history of the entire Universe in the spots of a leopard.

I do not know what others believe, but when I think of this idea, although magnificent, it seems very tiring. Most likely, it is the fatigue that made me think that in a way, what makes us people special, is our freshness. None of us are ancient. Yes, we have the same  eons in the back, but this is of little interest to us. The unconscious, yes, is ancient. But consciousness is new. It suddenly appears, at one point, and disappears just as suddenly, after only a few decades. Decades, not millennia, not millions, not billions of years. We have no time to get tired, to get old, to stiffen. And we are our consciences and nothing else. Everything else is repeatable, every feature, every eye color, every shade of hair, every trace of temperament, every gesture, every word, every whim, all of this is found in many people. But consciousness is always unique and very lonely, unfortunately! It’s good that we have empathy from time to time, so at least we suspect that there are other consciences around us, and luckily we stay young. I suspect that Jünger’s flower is unconscious. Otherwise I can not explain how it supports the boundlessness of its roots.

Painting by Vladimir-Kush

The Black Swan….

Europeans once thought all swans were white. “White” was part of how they defined “swan.” Then black swans were discovered, and the definition changed forever.

Almost everything in social life is produced by rare but consequential shocks and jumps. All the while, almost everything studied about social life focuses on the “normal,” particularly with “bell curve” methods of inference that tell you close to nothing.
Why? Because the bell curve ignores large deviations, cannot handle them, and yet makes us confident that we have tamed uncertainty.
(The Great Intellectual Fraud)
Living on our planet, today, requiers a lot more imagination that we are made to have. We lack imagination and repress it in others. We like stories, we like to summarize, and we like to simplify, to reduce the dimension of matters. The fallacy is associated with our vulnerability to over-interpretation and our predilection for compact stories over raw truths. We, members of the human variety of primates, have a hunger for rules because we need to reduce the dimension of matters so they can get into our heads. Or, rather sadly, so we can squeeze them into our heads. Unlike art, the purpose of science is to get to the truth, and not to give you a feeling of organisation, or make you feel better. Unfortunately, we tend to use knowledge as therapy. We live in the antechamber of hope, having the illusion of control over the world and reality. We focus on preselected segments of the seen and generalize it to be the unseen, having the error of confirmation. As much as it is ingrained in our habits and conventional wisdom, confirmation can be a dangerous error.
All this philosophy of induction, all these problems about knowledge, all these wild opportunites and scary possible losses, falls in front of the following metaphysical consideration. We are quick to forget that just being alive is an extraordinary piece of good luck, a remote event, and a chance occurrence of monstrous proportions. Imagine a speck of dust next to a planet a billion times the size of the earth. The speck of dust represents the odds in favor your being born. The huge planet would be the odds against it. So, stop sweating the small stuff! Don’t be like the ingrate who got a castle as a present, and worried about the mildew in the bathroom, stop looking the gift horse in the mouth!
Remember: you are not a horse you are a black swan, a very rare and remarkable event!
Nobody knows anything!

(A small analysis of Nassim Nicholas Taleb -The Black Swan)

Amor Fati…

Amor Fati,
“My formula for greatness in a human being is amor fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it—all idealism is mendacity in the face of what is necessary—but love it.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
Amor fati ….Love Your Fate which is in fact your life…
Amor fati is in the least an acceptance of fate, and at the most, a love of it. You will be met with life challenges that change your path…let them. If the event must occur,… ” amor fati “is the response.
” Amor fati”—a love of what happens. Because that’s your only option…”Amor Fati” prompts us to say: We will put our energies and emotions and exertions only where they will have real impact. This is that place. We will tell ourselves: This is what I’ve got to do or put up with? Well, I might as well be happy about it.
Nietzsche thought that not only should we accept all the horrors and chaos in life but we should love them. They are an integral part of our story. All the difficulties in life are intertwined with all the good and one cannot be without the other. The tragedies of fate and the missteps of being are one with the glories of grace and the wisdom of humanity. We need to take the good with the bad quite literally. Not only accept, but love the full picture of reality as it is.
This wasn’t to say that Nietzsche was advocating for a fatalistic approach to life.
He wasn’t suggesting we live completely passively as victims to fate. One of Nietzsche’s central concepts was ‘Wille zur Macht’, or the ‘Will to Power’ which is in direct contradiction to a helpless mentality. What he may have been advising instead, is that we have the wisdom to know when we need to fight and overcome, and when we need to accept and embrace the reality we find ourselves in. To be both drivers of change and gracious participants in fate.
“I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who makes things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all and on the whole: someday I wish to be only a Yes-sayer.”
– Friedrich Nietzsche, 1882, The Gay Science, 276